How to Treat a Guest Minister

Over the last few years I have had the privilege of travelling and ministering all over the UK and the world. When it comes to hospitality, or how I have been ‘taken care of’ during my stay, I have experienced everything from humbling to embarrassing. In this article I want to try and answer some questions concerning this subject and inspire church leaders concerning how to treat a guest minister when they come to your church or conference.

I am writing these thoughts from both sides of the experience as, for many years, I have been the one receiving hospitality and the one giving it. Out of that I want to give you some ideas of what to do and what not to do. Some of my ideas cost nothing or very little, and in fact are just, in my opinion, common everyday courtesy, whereas other ideas may cost you but are worth doing. I only want to simply provide you with options you may not have thought of – it is up to you which ones you choose to apply.

Then He turned toward the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet.” Luke 7:44-46 (NIV)

In this account Jesus enters the house of Simon and spends some time eating and talking with a group of people. Suddenly this lady appears and starts to cry and anoint Jesus feet with oil. Some present, including Simon, start to make a fuss about what she was doing, but Jesus turns and starts to talk about what she had done compared to what they had not.

When you look down the list of what they had not done you need to remember that each of those things was a common practice to any guest that you would have. He was not correcting them concerning things they did not know to do but rather ‘everyday courtesy’ which they had not shown. We all know reading this account many years later that He did not deserve common courtesy but worship, yet it is sobering to think that they did not even give Him what should have been expected.

When we deal with ministers today we need to make sure that we receive them well – not worship them but receive them with honour. The Bible says in Ephesians that they are “gifts of God”. If I gave a gift and it was abused it would not make me over keen to send another to that place?

We must be able to realize that, yes, they are just human, but they are also God’s postmen, carrying a message from the Lord for you and your church. How you receive someone can greatly determine what you receive from them.

Yes, there is a balance of not enough and going too far, I know that. But there is also a central highway of what is correct and proper. The very least that we should do for a guest visiting our church is to treat them with the best courtesy that anyone should expect when they are invited somewhere as a guest.

I know for young churches and new leaders there can be many questions concerning what is right? Here are some ideas that, in my opinion, make good common courtesy for receiving a ‘messenger of the Lord’.

No-cost or Low-cost Options:

Before the Visit

• Send them a letter saying you are looking forward to the visit, with a clear explanation of the event and what you are looking for from them during the event – how many times you want them to speak, how long for, etc. Maybe even a little description of your church so that they can begin to prepare relevantly.
• Also attach a form for their PA to fill out with questions like: when do they like to eat – before or after ministering?, favourite drinks? The purpose of this is to find out their preferences so that you can make their stay even more enjoyable and easy for them.
• Check if they are bringing resources with them so that you can arrange a place for it to go – find out if they are bringing someone to sell it or if they would like you to provide someone. If they want you to provide someone pick someone suitable who can handle cash and sometimes card machines.
• Give them clear directions to the accommodation and the venue you want them to be at, with mobile contact numbers in case they get lost (unmanned office numbers when you are lost are really, really annoying!)

Accommodating Guests in a Hotel or Guest House

• Arrange for someone to meet them there, maybe even get them checked in in advance so the person meeting them takes them straight to their room. This also enables you to put stuff in their room before they get there.
• Sometimes ministers will get themselves there and that is fine, if they state they want to do that.
• Have a card in the room greeting them and thanking them for coming. Also state what has been done for them with the booking; for example, if you are paying for the room and breakfast alone, let them know politely so that they know that any extras are at their own cost.

Example:
We are so glad to have you with us for this weekend. It is our pleasure to cover the cost of your hotel stay while you are here. We have paid for your room and breakfast, anything else will be charged to you. We are so excited about this weekend – please enjoy your stay, we hope you are comfortable and let us know if there is anything else we can do for you.

Note:

If you are covering the room and breakfast make sure there is a plan for other meals and that they know what it is – maybe write it on the itinerary.

I have been to many places that did not just cover the room and breakfast, but everything else as well. This is a nice surprise. If you decide to do this make sure they know you have.

• Have an itinerary stating the time of the meetings, when they are to be picked up or expected to arrive at the venue, contact numbers, etc.
• Have a gift in the room wrapped nicely. This again does not have to be expensive – chocolates, fruit or wash stuff?

Accommodating Guests in a Home:

• Make sure they have their own space, somewhere clean and relaxing that they can go and prepare and rest if they need too.
• Place some goodies in the room for them to snack on: fruit, water, sweets etc.
• Have a welcome card in their room waiting for them, and maybe a small gift.
• If they are staying in a home make sure the host knows not to bug them continually but to give them the space they need. Sometimes they are tired and do not want to sit up all night listening to revelations people have had and the interpretation of strange dreams!

Where ever you choose to accommodate them make sure you do what you need to make their stay as enjoyable and comfortable as possible.

Note:

Another idea I have experienced in places that did not want to take on a hotel was to get someone to move out of their house. This works well if the minister is travelling with their family, or if the house in question is a nice, neat, clean home that is available – maybe a flat with a view or in a nice location?

At the Venue:

• If they have not been collected for the meeting make sure someone is in the car park or entrance to meet them and bring them into the meeting.
• Assign someone to them for the duration of the meeting. This person can make sure the guest minister has what they need and are also protected, when needed to be, from strange or time-consuming people. If the minister wants to spend time with them that is up to them, but have someone present to help them get away if that is needed.
• Bring them into a side room where they can be offered a drink and have a chance to meet you and get themselves prepared.
• Again, there can be sweets and snacks in this room to make them comfortable.
• Restrict the amount of people allowed into this room and use it as an opportunity to introduce your key leaders to them.
• Find out how they want to finish the service, whether it is to be handed to back you, if the worship team are needed, and especially if they want to do the call for salvation or if they want you to do it.

KEY: presume nothing, establish everything

• Have the person assigned, or yourself, lead them to where you want them to sit – don’t make them have to find their own seat!

The Meeting:

• Give a good introduction that you have pre-thought or researched, and turn over to them a platform which is alive and healthy. Pre-plan what or who they follow in the program.
• Train your leaders and congregation to clap, stand, and give a warm welcome when the person is introduced and takes the stage.
• Remind your leaders to be responsive with their body language and comments – you will draw more out of them if there is a responsive atmosphere.
• When they have finished and hand the meeting back to you hopefully they will not have shared heresy that needs to be repaired. Don’t mini-preach another favourite message you have. This is annoying and most times un-needed and can take the emphasis off of what has just been imparted.
• Don’t try to explain things that do not need an explanation. Make simple comments that empower what has been shared and get the people to show their appreciation again.
• After the service find out what the minister is comfortable to do. Some like to go and sit in a room, others like to mix with the people. Find out what they want to do.
• Again, without seeming like body guards, have someone watching them to protect them from people who may be weird. Sadly, some people will not think twice about consuming the guest minister’s time so no one else can speak to them, and the minister may deem it impolite or not know how to get away from them. Whoever is watching them make sure they have initiative to read what is happening and step in when they need too.
• Get one of your team to offer them tea, coffee or refreshments after they have spoken and, of course, a bourbon biscuit.

What next:

• If you are taking them out to eat, select who comes along. Use the opportunity to empower certain people on your team or use the time to allow you and your partner to ask questions you have. Remember to give them a chance to eat their food before they answer another question.
• Place any financial gift you are giving them into a nice Thank You card and hand it to them with a smile and a big thank you.
• Make sure they go on their way with a big smile and waves, and that they have all they need for their journey – directions, water etc.

REAL LIFE: I have been to some places where I turned up and no one greeted me, I found myself a seat and people were only friendly after the pastor had introduced me to the congregation. I have also been to places that, when I finished ministering, everyone got on with their life and I had to see myself off and drive away without even the host saying goodbye! This is an embarrassment and should not happy – it violates the very basics of common courtesy.

Cost-a-bit-more Options

I have often been to places where, because of their revelation of good hospitality, they have gone above and beyond what I expected. These have always been nice surprises and made me feel valued.

Here are a few I have experienced that cost a little more but have a nice effect.

• Send flowers to the wife if she has not travelled with her husband on the trip. Nice flowers with a card saying ‘Thank You for letting your partner come and minister to us, we appreciate you doing that’. This is really good if the minister is with you for a weekend.

• Find out the ages of their children and, if they have young children, buy them toys or gifts to take back to them from you. Most of the time this has been done to me the church rang my staff without me knowing and found out the information they needed to know.

Note:

If they are travelling by plane be careful that the gifts are not too heavy or large for them to transport back with them.

• Sometimes I have turned up at hotels and, as stated before, been met by someone who pre-checked me in. They led me directly to the room and inside there was coffee brewing, a playstation, and a DVD player with films that they had brought in for me to use. This is really nice when you have travelled far and don’t want to fight reception over which church booked the room and what name was it in!

• Cash – I know of some churches that, when they have ministers come in from other countries, they provide a small amount of cash, knowing that the chances are the minister has not exchanged any yet, and the small amount will make them able to get the odds and bods they need in their first few hours.

Some of my experiences

I have had the privilege of traveling around the world, and have experienced hospitality in first world countries and third world countries. One of my observations is that money really is not the issue! When I have travelled through Africa and the Philippines on mission trips I have been overwhelmed by hospitality, as people go so out of their way in cooking and things to let you know they are glad you are with them.

I can remember many instances when I arrived at a town or village in the middle of nowhere to see a sign hanging up made out of a sheet saying, “Welcome Pastor Andy from England”. Then I would be taken to a home where fresh fruit was prepared and meals from locally caught fish or home-farmed turkey. It is truly overwhelming. Then you come back and travel to some places in the UK and people don’t even offer you a cup of tea. It is not a financial thing – it is a cultural must. Don’t do or give what you can’t but certainly do the best with what you have to make a guest feel welcome.

I stayed with someone once in the UK and their take on me staying there was that I was there to serve. Not wrong, but a bit weird when he wanted me to preach day and night, and cut his grass for him in the afternoon. I really did not find that funny because I had hay fever.

Serving was not a problem for me. Often, when I am out and about on mission in between meetings, I will paint, build or help a pastor wherever he has a need. It was the expectancy that shocked me that day: I was there to help him with his day-to-day life! I personally would not do this to a guest coming to my place.

Once, when speaking at a conference, my travel buddy and I checked in to the hotel they had given us and, when we got to our room, you guessed it, there was one double bed in the room for two married men. I went down to the reception, queued up and explained that we were not that way inclined and asked for a twin room. Eventually we got back up to our twin room, hoping it was the right place as there was no card or welcome note. Towards the end of the second day someone came and told us, “I heard you were both staying in the same room – you do know there are two rooms and you have one each?” No, I didn’t know because no one told me!

These little oversights really do not need to happen if we plan for guests correctly and send out information letting them know what they can expect.

I could write pages and pages on the different experiences I have had – mostly great ones, some surprising ones and some real shockers. The keys for me are:

• Treat the guest with more-than-common courtesy, use excellence with the little things to let them know you’re glad they are here.
• Give them clear information before and during their stay so there is no confusion.
• Let them know you appreciate them taking time to be with you.
• Treat them the best you can with what you have – don’t do what you can’t, but do what you can well.
• Train your church to appreciate ministry guests and to give a good welcome.

Hope this helps!

Andy

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